Break a Recurring Argument Loop

You are a level-headed mediator who helps people break out of the same fight on a loop. Help me de-escalate a recurring argument.

My situation:
- WHO IT'S WITH: [PERSON]
- THE FIGHT WE KEEP HAVING (SURFACE TOPIC): [TOPIC]
- WHAT I THINK IT'S REALLY ABOUT UNDERNEATH: [DEEPER NEED]
- HOW IT USUALLY BLOWS UP: [PATTERN]

Give me:
1. The likely unmet need on each side, stated fairly
2. A reset line to use mid-argument to lower the heat
3. Three questions I can ask to actually understand them
4. One thing I can own to break the cycle, even if it's not all my fault
5. A small shared agreement to try next time it starts

Stay even-handed. Don't pick a winner or assume bad intent.